Have you experienced the teeter totter between confidence and arrogance? Most of us shy away from confidence because we don’t want to be seen as arrogant. But what’s wrong with being confidant? Or let me put it another way, what’s wrong with being comfortable in our own shoes?
Last year, I joined a writer’s critique group to enhance the way that I tell stories. Every other Thursday, I got the chance to submit up to 5,000 words and have around 5-8 people, depending on the attendance, give me their advice and opinions on what I submitted.
After taking in everything that had been said I had to evaluate what advice I’d allow to alter the story I’m creating and what advice I’d set to the side because I knew something about the story that they don’t know yet.
What does this have to do with confidence and change?
Every day, we submit our lives to a critique group called ‘the world we live in’. Every day, we allow others to critique who we are through their words, actions, and body language. We then process this input by allowing it to alter who we are or setting it aside because we know something about ourselves that they don’t.
I’m not always comfortable in my own shoes. One of the areas that I doubt more than anything is my capability to communicate. Which is ironic to admit, considering the amount of people that have told me I’m good at speaking/writing/communicating.
When I'm writing a story and receiving feedback, I have to consider the advice that I’m receiving and who I’m receiving it from. Should I allow the advice of a fantasy writer to drastically change a romantic scene in my story? Or should I listen more closely to the romance writer regarding this scene?
As a person, I have to consider who’s advice I’m allowing to alter who I am. There have been moments where I’ve allowed the wrong advice, whether from a look or actual words, to alter my confidence. Moments where I have allowed the critique of others to alter my own life story.
There's a lot of things in this world that we cannot control. That has become more and more apparent over the past month. But there is one thing we can control, we can decide who we allow to alter our life story. There are people that speak life into us, they recognize talents inside of us that we fail to admit or accept. There are also people that try to fill our mind with negative crap. Seriously, don't accept the garbage.
I'm not a life coach, I'm a writer. So, I'll put it in terms that I understand. Find a quiet place to clear your head, then take a moment to envision what will happen next in your life story, after that write it down. Get all those details out of your head. You're the main character, where do you want to see yourself as this journey progresses? Twists and turns are okay, they are bound to happen in every story. That's what brings the adventure, the drama, the heartfelt moments.
Take in a breathe, breathe out all the bad critiques, and start living as the character you were created to be.
Be the change...choose your character.
Nicole Donoho, owner of Teddyfly LLC, enjoys writing stories for all ages. She currently lives in Northwest Arkansas where she takes in the beauty of the Natural State with her husband, Jacob, and their three sons-Elijah, Josiah, and Solomon.